


A Week In The Life Of John And Dave

by timaeustestifiedsilence



Series: Homestuck Shorts [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Best Friends, Dorks, Other, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timaeustestifiedsilence/pseuds/timaeustestifiedsilence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Platonic living together AU!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Week In The Life Of John And Dave

**Monday -** Mondays were the worst. Getting up before noon was considered illegal, and whoever woke up first had to cook. Except sometimes Dave gets up at five in the morning to make too many pancakes. Which is somehow ironic.

The day usually goes like this:

 **\- 11:59 a.m. :** Dave wakes up. A faint 'omg I'm a rebel' can be heard. Does not get out of bed until John gets out of his so that he doesn't have to cook. Unless he wants to cook.

 **\- 12:30 p.m. :** John gets up. He realizes he has to cook, so he's extra noisy about it. Dave wanders into the kitchen and grumbles until the food is done.

 **\- 1:15 p.m. :**  The two finish eating and they race to the shower to see who gets there first. Tripping and pushing is involved.

 **\- 4:00 p.m. :** Showers are done. The rest of the day is spent laying on anything not sharp and complaining about how they're so tired. They fall asleep to SpongeBob.

 **\- 1:30 a.m. :** KITCHEN RAIIIID then passing out on the floor.

 **Tuesday -** Tuesdays are actually worse than Mondays. Know why? BECAUSE THEY BOTH ALMOST ALWAYS WAKE UP ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR AT 7 IN THE MORNING AND CAN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP.

 **\- 7:00 a.m. :** John awakens. His half-conscious mind plans something with tortilla chips and whipped cream.

 **\- 7:30 a.m. :** Dave wakes up after smacking himself in the face. John had put whipped cream on his hand, a chip on his nose, and boom. He also has crushed chips all over him.

 **\- 7:45 a.m. :** STRIFE! Whipped cream vs. canned cheese.

 **\- 8:30 a.m. :** Shower routine is the same as Monday.

 **\- 9:00 a.m. :** Pranking ensues. Ironic pranking. Mean pranking. Jane visiting and pranking.

 **\- 4:00 p.m. :** Apology hugs. One final prank. Jane squeals with disgust and leaves. John: "Dave you gross turd!". The rest of the day is the same as Monday.

 **Wednesday -** There is nothing to Wednesday other than CAMELS AND ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH THEM. ~~Hump DAAAAY!~~ Dave also takes things too far, prompting a 'DAVE I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL KEEP YOUR HIPS AWAY FROM ME' 'But it's hump day' 'I DON'T CARE GET OFF'.

 **Thursday -** This day is solely for working. Because, you know, gotta have money to buy stuff.

 **Friday -** Friday's are reserved for snack shopping and video games.

 **Saturday -** DRINK EVERYTHING ALL ALCOHOLIC SUBSTANCES - more like 'Dave that's not beer!' 'That what is it?!' 'Um . . . not beer!' 'Oh my God dude don't tell me this is piss' 'Um . . . ' 'WHY WOULD YOU PISS IN A GLASS' 'I DON'T KNOW I'M SORRRYYYY'

 **Sunday -** How 'bout an all day hangover that lasts until Monday?

Aaaaand repeat. Forever. 


End file.
